Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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