evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Randomize
