your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
