Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
