Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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