Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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