Apparently you make a good broom.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
