just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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