Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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