Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
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I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
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The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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