So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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