That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Are we still banned from the library?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize