I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
