College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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