dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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