she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
