I never want to see another naked old woman again.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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