I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
