They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We have so much sex to catch up on
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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