Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I want her autograph on my taint
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
