I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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