Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
