If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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