i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
