I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
