Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
