Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
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