Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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