going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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