I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
