He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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