the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
