I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
