the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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