no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
