You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
