I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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