I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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