just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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