Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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