Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
