You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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