some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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