I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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