Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
