I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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