im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
