toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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