lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Can I color on your dick again?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
