You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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