And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize