i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You ate ashes out of my bong
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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