just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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