I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
