Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
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we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
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Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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