You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
