mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
