I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
