There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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